


Re: Beautiful Days

by memefair



Series: Canon Divergent: Nanamicentric [1]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Human Nanami Chiaki, Nanami Chiaki Lives, im not bitter what r u talkin about, time to fix canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-14
Updated: 2018-07-18
Packaged: 2019-04-22 20:55:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14316993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/memefair/pseuds/memefair
Summary: She knew her life would change drastically upon being invited to attend Hope's Peak as one of its renowned talented students, but she was completely unaware of the part she would play in the The Biggest, Most Awful, Most Tragic Event in Human History.A retelling of Danganronpa 3: Despair Arc from Nanami Chiaki's perspective.





	1. PROLOGUE

This wing of the hospital was just as white and pristine as the rest of it. The little girl held tightly to her father’s hand as she cast her gaze around, eyes filled with wonder at just how clean everything looked. Like a shimmering palace, full of winding corridors. She wondered if she might find a princess who needed saving at the end of the level, after a particularly tough boss battle.

Her own home wasn’t exactly messy, but it certainly wasn’t this spotless either. Was it so the sick people didn’t get even sicker from all the dirt?  
  
Though, she didn’t understand why her mother was here. One day she was fine, if not a little snappy, and the next morning Chiaki woke up and her father was explaining to her that her mother was sick and had to go to the hospital. He said they could visit her after class that day, and here she was, in her mother’s favorite dress and her hair bound back in pigtails.

They were tight and lopsided. She very badly wanted to let her hair down, her father’s hands not as skilled as her mother’s.  
  
When she saw her mother, she didn’t seem to be sick. A little pale and flushed, yes, but otherwise she was talking and even laughing a bit with the nurse who was on duty when they arrived.

Chiaki meekly said hello, still holding onto her father’s hand. As she waited, she toyed with the Gameboy in the pocket of her jacket, running her thumbs over the buttons. She wondered if she’d be allowed to continue her game during their visit.

After the nurse departed, Nanami Yamato turned to his daughter.  
  
“Chiaki, why don’t you go get a snack from the machine outside? Make sure to come back right after.” He offered her some money, and she gratefully took it, staring at both her parents with wide eyes before she retreated.  
  
The hall felt big and foreign without her father there. Her excitement at the thought of rescuing a princess had evaporated.

Chiaki clutched her money tightly, vaguely remembering that they passed by a vending machine after taking a right and a left, and– there it was. The figure there was imposing, but she pressed her face up against the glass, standing on her tiptoes so she could see what was inside.  
  
She knew, in theory, how to work something like this. She supposed her father just kind of assumed she’d figure it out. Unfortunately… the slot for inserting coins into the machine was up higher than she could reach. Dejected, Chiaki turned away and headed back to her mother’s room to ask for her father’s help.  
  
“–how could you do something like this!?” came her father’s frantic whisper from inside the room. Chiaki froze.

“You have a daughter to think about! What about her? You can’t just throw your life away!”  
  
_Here, too?_ the little girl thought mournfully.

“She’s _your_ daughter, too,” she heard her mother point out. “Not that you _act_ like it.”

Chiaki turned on her heels and walked away again, not wanting to interrupt. She’d have to solve this problem herself.

(She was almost six, after all, old enough now to even pour her own juice as her mother liked to tell her.)  
  
When she saw the machine again, she stood back and surveyed the area. Her child-like mind whirled, taking in all of her surroundings, trying to fit them in together like she was solving a puzzle in one of her favorite game series.

After a few minutes of thought, she approached a small, covered garbage can that was sitting out in the hall. She removed the lid and the bag inside, then took the can itself and turned it upside down.  
  
She used it as a stepping stool so she could reach the coin slot. She understood the numbers in the machine corresponded to the numbers on the keypad, so after a few tries, her chosen item had fallen down to the slot at the bottom. As she leaned down to retrieve it, an unknown voice piped up.  
  
“What are you doing?” scolded a different nurse from earlier. “You could get hurt like that!”  
  
Chiaki flinched at the sound of the adult’s raised voice. “I–” her own voice trembled. “–I wanted– a snack–”

If she started to cry, she’d just get in more trouble. She knew that from experience. But she couldn’t fight it back, despair welling up inside her.  
  
“You couldn’t have asked for help?” the nurse’s voice grew softer.  
  
Chiaki mutely shook her head, tiny hands bunched up into fists, shoulders shaking.  
  
“Why not…?”  
  
The tears came. She thought back to her parents in that room, probably still arguing, and she just shook her head harder.

“I don’t know,” she lied shamefully, sniffing and wiping her eyes. She didn’t _want_ to lie to the strange woman, but she also couldn’t say the real reason. It just wouldn’t come out, even if she tried. She didn’t have the words for it.

Chiaki gave up on hiding her tears. She simply allowed the sobs to come.

The nurse did her best to comfort the crying girl. She helped her fix the mess she made and was careful to lead her back to her mother’s room in case she got lost.

Chiaki didn’t have the heart to tell her that she remembered exactly where she had come from. It wasn’t all that different from finding her way around in a game. The older woman seemed to want to help, though, so she stayed quiet the entire way back.  
  
Thankfully, when they got there, the argument seemed to be over. Her mother and father sat in cold silence, not looking at each other.

Chiaki thanked the nurse and timidly re-entered the room, holding a box of rice crackers in her hands. She bit her lip, able to feel the tension in the atmosphere even without looking at either of her parents. She fought with herself for a few moments, and then approached her mother and held out the box to her.  
  
“…what’s this?” Nanami Kazue asked, breaking through the awkward tension.  
  
“I– I got you a snack so you’d feel better,” Chiaki mumbled.  
  
She’d chosen something she knew her mother liked. Her father opened his mouth as if to argue, because he’d given her that money for herself, but he bit his tongue and said nothing.  
  
The rest of their visit was spent in silence.


	2. She Doesn't Get the Protagonist Seat

“I-I’m going to be late on my first day!”

The girl was out the door in the blink of an eye, hurling herself across the yard with reckless abandon. With one hand, she finished her breakfast, and with the other she hastily tied her ribbon. Unfortunately, her fingers got all tangled up in the knot instead, and in her hurry to fix it, she dropped the last half of her toast on the ground.

Chiaki watched her go, rubbing her eyes blearily.  _ You get all sorts of types at Hope’s Peak,  _ she thought to herself. She exited the corridor of the dorms, pink cat backpack slung across her back, dark teal hoodie on underneath her blazer even though it wasn’t particularly cold out that day. She yawned.

The other girl turned, and their eyes met briefly, her unevenly cut dark purple hair streaming behind her. There was a split second where it felt like time slowed… and then she tripped over a rock and tumbled to the ground face-first.

Chiaki winced and looked away from where the other girl had exposed herself.

She thought, just maybe, she should go over and help her up. From the looks of it, she might very well be a classmate. But by the time she’d worked up the nerve, the girl with the purple hair was already on her feet, crying out an apology over her shoulder as she fled the scene.

It had felt like a dream when the talent scout approached her mother, asking her permission to attend the renowned school for students with extraordinary skills. Though her parents had wildly varying viewpoints on it (her mother claiming that “Gamer” shouldn’t qualify as a talent, while her father was sure to congratulate her after he returned home from a night out drinking), she had thought of nothing but this day for almost a year.

After all, nobody had ever gone to the school for their talent as a  _ gamer _ before. But here she was, the newly dubbed Ultimate Gamer, about to begin her very first day.

It still felt unreal, like she was going to wake up any moment and realize she was still at home, where her mother busily worked on her writing and her father likely wouldn’t show up until at least nine in the evening. 

If that happened, she’d have to go back to her old school, where the students all made fun of her for her obsession with gaming. That, and how much of a loner she was… and her hair, and the way she dressed, and her body type, and how she fell asleep in class all the time, and how bad her grades were--

Chiaki grimaced and kept walking. She passed by a few other students, as nonchalant as her, though they didn’t seem to have any destination in mind. One girl in particular was just sitting there on the grass, feeding candy to a boy with his head on her lap.

When she reached her classroom, she quietly slid the door open and stepped inside. Everyone turned to look at her, including the teacher, a familiar man in a white fedora.

“Ah, Nanami-san,” Kizakura greeted her. “Welcome… please take a seat.” 

His tone was just as tired as Chiaki felt. She followed his gaze to the only empty chair left in the room and sat down, folding her hands in front of her.

The girl with the purple hair from earlier was there too. Her face flushed when she noticed Chiaki, but she kept her mouth shut.

Several of her classmates carried on conversations among themselves while Kizakura explained their duties to them.  _ Our nonexistent duties,  _ Chiaki reflected.  _ Here at Hope’s Peak, we can do whatever we want. _

That principle was demonstrated effectively when an athletic looking girl with brown skin and darker brown hair stood up abruptly, announcing that she was bored and hungry before she left the room.

After that, the slight amount of tension in the air from it being their first day broke. A few of the others broadcasted their departure, and the rest who left stayed quiet. It wasn’t long before only five of them were left, not including Kizakura, who saw that the room was being evacuated and chose to do the same. One boy and four girls in total, Chiaki observed as she looked around the room.

Chiaki sighed. As she always did in an idle moment, she pulled her Gameboy out of her bag and began to play the game that was inside it.

“Oh my!” came a call to her right. Chiaki sat up straighter, the voice drawing her gaze to a girl who had come upon her unnoticed.

She stood there, leaning over her shoulder, peering curiously at the screen with wide blue eyes. Her long, blonde hair fell down over her shoulders to her waist, her flower headband complementing the color of her uniform nicely. She was obviously not Japanese, which would become even more immediately apparent from the overly formal way she spoke.

All in all, she was maybe one of the prettiest girls Chiaki had ever seen.

She swallowed nervously.  _ Is she going to make fun of me?  _ she wondered, fighting down the blush that threatened to rise to her face.

“This is such a curious device!” the other girl chirped. “Tell me, what is it for?”

Stupefied, Chiaki paused, her mouth opening but no answer coming out of it.  _ She’s… never seen a Gameboy before? You’re kidding me, right? She has to be making fun of me. _

But the honesty in the girl’s sunny smile gave her the courage she needed to continue. “It’s… for video games,” Chiaki explained awkwardly. “I’m the Ultimate Gamer.”

Once again, she braced herself for an acidic comment about how gaming wasn’t really a talent. Instead, the girl’s hand flew to her mouth. “Goodness! Of course, you must be Nanami Chiaki-san! Please forgive my rudeness!”

Once again, Chiaki was taken aback as the girl bowed to her apologetically, though she noted that her head barely dipped before she was back up again. 

“It’s… okay, I think,” she tried to say, but she spoke so softly she was interrupted before she could complete her sentence.

“My name is Sonia Nevermind. I am the Ultimate Princess.”

_ Ah,  _ Chiaki thought weakly.  _ A princess. _

Wait, a princess!?

“ _ Princess, _ ” came a sneer from the other side of the room. The two girls stopped in their tracks as a boy stood up to his full (rather meager) height, sliding his chair back with an angry screech. Despite the nasty look on his face, he seemed too young to be in high school. “Right, and the Ultimate Gamer. What a load of shit.”

The girl with freckles stood then too, hands on her hips, shooting an equally scornful look in the boy’s direction. The silver-haired girl remained silent, not budging a muscle.

“Yeah? And what’s your talent that you’re so high and mighty?”

The boy snorted. “I’m Kuzuryuu Fuyuhiko, the Ultimate Yakuza.”

The girl who’d last spoken, who Chiaki surmised to be a photographer because of the camera bag hanging around her waist, went pale. It gave Kuzuryuu enough time to head for the door, where he cast one last look over his shoulder.

“Stay out of my goddamn way,” he warned.

He was gone, then. The photographer still seemed rather shaken, enough so that she didn’t even turn to look at the rest of her classmates before she left the room as well, hands around her camera as if it might comfort her. The girl with the silver hair and glasses was calm enough that she gave Sonia and Chiaki one difficult to read glance before she left as well.

Chiaki turned back to her game. “He seems nice,” she mumbled, unable to keep the sarcastic comment from tumbling out of her mouth.

Sonia looked shocked for a moment, before a smile graced her lips. Then she was laughing quietly, as one might expect from a princess, with all the dignity in the world. “That was a joke, yes?” she asked, apparently needing confirmation.

Chiaki was unable to fight down her own smile, though the encounter from just moments before left her rather perturbed.

Sonia seemed to notice her disquiet. She sat down and pulled a chair up next to her, sitting so straight that Chiaki had to wonder if she had an iron rod fastened to her spine to keep her from stooping over.

“Please, Nanami-san,” Sonia said. “Show me one of your games. I have not had the pleasure of playing a video game before, and surely there is no one better to learn from than you?”

Chiaki murmured assent.  _ A real live princess,  _ she thought.  _ I wonder if she’s ever been kidnapped and held in a castle where she needed to be saved by a knight… or a plumber. Is she maybe the latest in a line of reincarnations? No, of course not. That’s all fake stuff in games… probably. _

She spent the next hour showing Sonia the ropes of the game she’d been playing last, and went back to her dorm with an odd sense of satisfaction.  
  
_ Maybe I  _ can _ make friends here. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (danganronpa 2 dub voice) koozooriyoo


	3. Arcade Quest: Complete?

She’d let go of his hand long ago, and now she was the one trailing after him, struggling to keep up. 

He seemed to be lost in thought, green eyes focused on the sidewalk ahead of him. For her part, she’d spent all her energy getting to this point. The excitement had worn off, and now she was just tired.

“A-ah,” Chiaki finally called out, “Hinata-kun… Slow down?”

She didn’t mean to phrase it like a question, but she was unaccustomed to the sort of camaraderie that came with being friends.  _ Wait, are we friends? Isn’t it too early to say that?  _ she had to ask herself.

He stopped, glancing over his shoulder to give her a quizzical look that all but confirmed what she suspected: He really hadn’t noticed her lagging behind at all.

“Sorry.” The sheepish smile that came up on his face was rather tight and forced. 

She wanted to ask what was on his mind, but she held off, too shy to pick his brain. It had taken all of her combined strength and courage just to ask him out on this excursion. Chiaki was spent not just physically, but mentally.

Putting herself out there didn’t come easily to her. She was naturally withdrawn and quiet, her mother having instilled in her the importance of a girl being docile. She certainly had her outbursts, especially when it came to games, but for the most part… Chiaki kept to herself.

Actually making an  _ attempt _ to make friends was something new to her. She had friends in elementary school, but she had yet to learn how to contain herself back then. She drove them off with her single-minded fixation on games.

With Hinata, though, she felt a little more at peace.

He slowed down to allow her time to catch up, and by the time they’d reached the game center, they were walking side by side. It felt natural as she fell into step beside him, even though they weren’t talking.

_ Ah. I should probably say something. _

“What are classes in the Reserve Course like?” was the first thing that came out of her mouth, and she winced. She knew already it was a rather sore subject for him.

Thankfully, he didn’t seem to mind too much. “They’re… normal,” he said with a shrug. “The work’s difficult, but it’s manageable. The other students mostly keep to themselves.”

He didn’t need to actually say “and so do I,” the suggestion hovering there after he’d finished speaking. He shared that with Chiaki, having the same tendency to take up as little space as possible, as if he felt he didn’t deserve anything more.

As they entered the lobby of the arcade, a few of the other occupants looked up. Their eyes widened slightly when they laid them on Chiaki, and soon they were whispering among themselves.

Her face colored, but she tried to ignore it, focusing on Hinata instead.

“You haven’t made any friends?”

He glanced at her momentarily, and then looked away again. “No.”

There was that same look again. The distant, sad expression he got on his face when he was lost in thought reminded her of somebody, but she couldn’t quite place it. A character in a video game, she figured. There were so many of them with tragic backstories, of course she couldn’t single any one character out.

But he wasn’t gone long. With the various sounds of the arcade around them, he returned to the present for real that time. The various beeps and boops apparently piqued his interest enough to bring him out of his shell.

“Where’s this game you mentioned?” he asked her.

Her face lit up. He remembered their objective, then? That meant he’d been listening to her on the way here. It was a comforting thought, and Chiaki eagerly led him in the direction of their goal, still trying to ignore the clamor around them. She could hear snippets of conversation, and she didn’t like hearing the words “Hope’s Peak” and “Ultimate Gamer” among them.

Couldn’t she have one day out where she didn’t get recognized?

It wasn’t meant to be, unfortunately. It took less than half an hour for a crowd to begin gathering around them, word circulating among the other players there that the so-called “Ultimate Gamer” had made an appearance. Chiaki had enjoyed her popularity when she was able to remain anonymous, but now that she had a face attached to her title, there was no escape from it.

At least out in the city, most people didn’t notice her. Here, where she was most likely to run into a fan, she had no chance.

Hinata grew uncomfortable, too, as the whispers around them began to speculate on the nature of their relationship. A couple girls wondered aloud between each other if they were on a date, and a third person beside them remarked that Hinata wasn’t wearing the uniform of Hope’s Peak.

Chiaki reached her limit when she felt something brush up against the back of her skirt. She jolted back from the console, her body seizing up.

“Hey!” Hinata snapped, eyes following the hand that retreated back into the crowd. “Who the hell do you think--”

He started after the perpetrator, but his anger fizzled out quickly when he realized they’d melted back into the sea of people. What was he going to do, anyway, start a fight inside an arcade?

“Let’s get out of here, Nanami,” he said as he turned back.

There was nobody there. She’d disappeared as well.

Chiaki fled to the bathroom, where it was quiet. Another girl was there washing her hands, but she just glanced at her before she left, apparently not recognizing her. Chiaki breathed a sigh of relief as she sagged against the wall.

Too much, too fast. She needed to be alone.

Part of her felt guilty for abandoning Hinata, but it had been a split second decision. She’d panicked, and unable to voice her desire to leave, she had simply run away.

She took a moment to recollect herself, brushing her bangs to the side, adjusting the clip in her hair. She looked as tired and haggard as she felt, letting out a sigh as she stared at her face in the mirror. Eyes downcast, she tried to quell the shaking of her hands.

_ This isn’t what I wanted,  _ Chiaki thought mournfully.  _ I just wanted to be able to make something of myself, with the only thing I can do… But there’s a price for everything, isn’t there? I can’t back out now, or… I’ll go back to being who I was before. _

Something about her expression was familiar. Lifting her gaze, she came to a realization.

_ It’s not a game character Hinata-kun reminds me of… It’s me. _

When she left the bathroom, the door swinging shut behind her, she found that the crowd had already dispersed. They were keeping an eye out for her, and a few called out to her when she reappeared, but she paid them no mind. They weren’t who she was looking for, after all.

She found him by one of the walls, hands in his pockets, eyes fixated on the floor as if it had something important to tell him. Chiaki hesitated before she reached out to touch him gently on the arm, drawing him out of his reflective trance.

He opened his mouth to say something, but she cut him off.

“Let’s go do something else,” she suggested with a small smile. “There’s a really nice bakery a couple blocks down… I think.”

His face softened, though she could tell the anxiety hadn’t completely left him. “Alright,” he agreed. “Sounds good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ha ha no talent hinata
> 
> this is more than likely the last of my regular updates, if only because i dont have the next part of beautiful ruin done yet and i'm not sure when i'll actually get around to it! hopefully it won't be too long, though, especially since i'll be done with this semester soon.


	4. Swing and a Miss

“I’m sorry, ladies… but my hands are tied. There’s nothing more I can do.”

Kirigiri Jin sat in front of them, a look of clear regret on his face, hands folded on his desk. As far as Chiaki could tell, he was being sincere with them. That made it sting all the more, knowing they’d already reached the end of their campaign.

“H-hey!” Souda protested. “I’m here too!”

The headmaster shot him a look. “Of course. I apologize, Souda-kun.”

The past couple of days had been rough for a number of reasons. One murder was bad enough, especially when it was discovered by the victim’s friends, but a second murder shortly after? It was difficult to decipher. The rumor was that a serial pervert was running around the Reserve Course offing victims, currently.

Kuzuryuu, Koizumi, Saionji, Tsumiki, and Mioda were all distraught. Kuzuryuu had lost a sister, and Koizumi had lost her best friend.

What was worse was that security had increased around the Main Campus, but there seemed to be little to no change in defenses around the Reserve Course grounds. Students were expected to continue living their lives as if nothing had happened. The killer hadn’t been caught, but efforts to look into the incidents were minimal. Supposedly, after a couple weeks, the police would call off the search entirely and withdraw their forces from the campus.

“This cannot be the end!” Sonia declared. “You say it is the Steering Committee that holds the power to make these decisions… Then we shall go to them!”

Headmaster Kirigiri winced.

Chiaki had brought Sonia along as moral support in her crusade to protect the Reserve Course students. The Ultimate Princess had a slew of strengths to contribute to their cause, after all, given that negotiation was part of her talent.

Souda had tagged along once he heard Sonia was coming. He claimed he wanted to help out the cause, but his true motivation was rather obvious. To his credit, he kept his hands to himself. The last time he’d made an inappropriate remark in Chiaki’s presence, she’d made sure to scold him. It seemed he was finally getting it into his head that Sonia was a person, not an object to ogle.

Chiaki glanced at him. His eyes sparkled when Sonia spoke.

“Please,” Chiaki said, turning back to Headmaster Kirigiri. “We just want everyone to be safe. Can’t some of the funds from the Reserve Course go into hiring better security…?”

He sighed. “I’ve already spoken with the Steering Committee,” he explained. Chiaki wilted slightly. “We don’t see eye to eye on the matter. Perhaps you’ll have a better chance of convincing them.”

Sonia’s voice took on a commanding tone. It seemed to be something she did automatically, without even intending to issue orders. “Then you must give us their contact information! We will arrange a meeting with them!”

Souda jumped in. “Yeah!” he crowed, grinning that sharp-toothed grin of his. “If anyone can convince them, it’s Sonia-san!”

Headmaster Kirigiri was already writing a note on a piece of paper. He began almost the instant Sonia spoke, and only now seemed to realize what he was doing. His writing slowed, but he didn’t stop. After a few moments, he tore off the section he’d scribbled over and handed it off to Chiaki.

She read over it. There was a telephone number. She wondered if Sonia and Souda could see the fear in her eyes as she pocketed it. Phone calls weren’t exactly her strong suit. She could face up to people in person, but when it came to calling them, she chickened out more often than not.

“Thank you,” Chiaki said anyway. If it was to ease the minds of the Reserve Course students, even just a little bit… she’d stick her neck out. 

Besides, if she had Sonia by her side, she could do anything. The other girl’s positivity was infectious, her “can-do” attitude rubbing off on Chiaki enough that their classmates often commented how inseparable they were. Sonia was everything Chiaki wasn’t, she felt: Beautiful, intelligent, well-mannered,  _ and _ well-dressed. It was a wonder Sonia spent any time with her at all.

As they exited the office, Souda turned to the two girls, giving them a thumbs up. “That didn’t go as badly as I thought it would!” he announced. Chiaki couldn’t help but notice the bead of sweat trickling down the side of his face.

It was actually a comforting thought to know that her friend had been just as nervous as she was, faced with the headmaster himself.

“Indeed,” Sonia agreed. “Let us call the Steering Committee at once!”

_ If they really hold all the power, we’re not actually going to reach them… I think,  _ Chiaki wanted to say.  _ It’s like we’re working our way up to a boss fight… We’ll have a few minibosses to defeat first, probably. _

In reality, she just didn’t want to make the call right away. Not without mentally preparing herself first.

It was hard to say no to her friends, though. “Mhm,” Chiaki said, pulling her phone out. “Just, um… Let me send a message to somebody first.”

[ to HINATA-KUN: we’re working on increasing security for the reserve course. ]

[ to HINATA-KUN: i really don’t want anyone else to get hurt… ]

Her last couple of messages had gone unread, apparently. She was starting to wonder what was up, but she put it away at the back of her mind for now. She needed all her strength for the task ahead.

_ He said we’d meet today, anyway.  _ When classes were over, she’d go to the fountain as usual and tell him what they’d been up to.  _ Maybe he’ll be proud of me. _

The thought had leaped into her head before she could stop it.

“Who’s ‘Hinata-kun’?” Souda asked, peeking over her shoulder. Pulling a hand up to his mouth, his smile grew wider and wider. “Your  _ boyfriend _ , maybe?” He made a lazy grab for the phone that was just for show.

Chiaki stepped away from him. “He’s my friend in the Reserve Course,” she pointed out, a sullen pout rising up on her face. “And  _ you _ shouldn’t be spying on people’s screens, Souda-kun…  _ probably _ .”

He looked properly admonished for a second. The grin came back to his face shortly after, though it was more genuine. “Hey, this is what friends do, isn’t it? Right?” He glanced from Chiaki to Sonia, who was hiding a laugh behind a hand.  _ He’s really not sure, is he?  _ Chiaki thought to herself.

That was the price they paid for talent, it seemed. Most everyone in the class had that edge to them that suggested they’d spent much of their life alone or with only one or two close companions. They stuck out, were ostracized for their talents before they were talents, and in some cases were flat out abused. Chiaki didn’t have to know Souda’s specific backstory to assume that was the same for him.

“Right,” Chiaki said. “But… unless you want to be the one to make this call…” she suggested, mischief in her voice as she held her phone out to him.

He immediately backed away. “ _ Hell _ no! The Steering Committee would eat me alive! S’all yours, Nanami!”

Ah. There was his usual cowardice.

Truthfully, all she knew about the Steering Committee was that they held most of the power, above even the headmaster. Other than that… it wasn’t like she really kept up with the politics around the school, after all. Aside from the petty squabble between the Main Course and the Reserve Course, she had no idea what went on behind the scenes.

Her hands shaking, Chiaki slowly dialed the number Headmaster Kirigiri had given her. She felt rather like she was calling in a request for her own death sentence, but with Sonia and Souda’s eyes on her, she couldn’t refuse.

“...you’ve reached the office of the Steering Committee. To schedule an appointment, please…”

The robotic voice droned on. Chiaki dialed the appropriate number and held her breath. She was put on hold, and after about five minutes, somebody human picked up on the other end.

Chiaki’s voice came out in a squeak at first. She hastily cleared her throat, her face turning red as she tried to recover. “U-um… I-I’d like to make an appointment t-to… speak with the Steering Committee…?”

She was starting to sweat.

“May I ask who’s speaking?” questioned the woman on the other end of the line, presumably a secretary. “And who you’d like to make an appointment with?”

Crap. She hadn’t thought to ask for their names.

“Er…” Chiaki bit her lip. “N… Nanami Chiaki. Class 77-B’s Class Representative… I think.”

There was a pause. “You think?”

“N-no!” Chiaki corrected herself. “I mean, I am. Definitely. Sorry.”

The woman heaved a sigh. “I’m afraid they’re not meeting with students, at any rate.”

Chiaki’s lips curved down into a frown. She managed to finish the call without embarrassing herself any further, apologizing for wasting the other woman’s time before she hung up. Her arms dropped to her sides and hung limp.

“That does not sound good,” Sonia commented. “Perhaps they are busy?”

Chiaki shook her head. “They’re not meeting with students, is what she said… And she couldn’t give me a date for when we’d be able to arrange something.”

“What? Why not?” Souda cut in. “How’re they s’posed to run this school if they don’t ever get input from the students? That’s messed up!”

Sonia had a strange look in her eye. “I will look into this,” she promised. “It does not sit right with me that students of this school are in danger, and we are expected to turn a blind eye.”

Chiaki pocketed her phone, staring at her feet. All of the time she spent psyching herself up for this so she could actually make a difference for once… with nothing to show for it. It seemed Sonia would have to take the lead, making use of her talent to hopefully make the Reserve Course safer.

Souda glanced between the two girls. Concern was written there on his face, though it was hard to tell if it was concern for them or concern for himself. He had a kind heart, Chiaki believed, but he could be self absorbed.

“H-hey,” he said, “don’t get so down! Why don’t we go somewhere cool to lift our spirits?”

“I am afraid I have business to attend to,” Sonia told him.

Souda winced. “Alright… What about you, Nanami?”

“...I have plans after school,” Chiaki explained sheepishly. “I’m sorry, Souda-kun.”

She wanted to ask Hinata what he knew about the Steering Committee. He’d always been a big fan of the school, so he probably knew more than her. Besides, it’d feel wrong cancelling on him on such short notice, especially when he’d seemed so off the day before. It almost looked like he’d gotten in a fight... though in the dim dusk lighting, his face had been difficult to make out.

_ Maybe he’ll tell me what happened yesterday,  _ Chiaki thought to herself,  _ if I just ask. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two nerds and a princess walk into a bar


	5. Rose in Vitro

“I don’t need your assistance,” Kirigiri reminded her briskly. “I am perfectly capable of investigating this on my own.”

Chiaki could hear each of the younger girl’s steps as they echoed down the hallway, her heels clicking against the floor as she walked. Her own steps were mostly silent, as they normally were, after a lifetime habit of trying to stay as unnoticeable as possible.

“Y-yeah, but… Detectives in games usually have assistants, don’t they…? Or it could be like we’re in an Ace Attorney game, heh… Like I’m the Maya Fey to your Phoenix Wright.”

Kirigiri didn’t stop. She didn’t even turn to look at Chiaki as she trailed after her. “I don’t play many video games, I’m afraid.”

That didn’t discourage Chiaki. Upon learning of the existence of the Ultimate Detective, she’d immediately sought her out. 

The disappearance of Hinata was on her mind every day, ever since he’d stopped returning her calls, and the knowledge that he was gone ate away at her. It was getting nearly impossible to keep a smile on her face when her classmates were nearby, but she tried anyway.

The strangest part of it, she thought, was that something about Kirigiri was… well, it was hard to say. When she first met the girl, she’d thought she was awfully pretty. Her cold, composed demeanor was strictly professional, unlike just about anyone in Chiaki’s class.

She smelled good, too. Kind of like lilacs.

Chiaki shook the thought out of her head. She picked up the pace, catching up with Kirigiri so she could walk beside her.

“I…” Chiaki began to say, but she shut her mouth, frowning as she tried to think of how to explain herself. Kirigiri still did not look at her in the time it took Chiaki to speak again. “...I just… I want to help. I feel like… because he’s my friend, I want to help find him. Even if the outcome is bad… even if he’s gone forever…”

Kirigiri sighed. She stopped abruptly, turning to face Chiaki as she ran a hand through her long hair. Chiaki couldn’t help but watch the movement, her eyes drawn to it.

“I am not saying this to be cruel,” Kirigiri began to explain, her voice soft. “I simply want you to understand the reality of your situation. I am very good at what I do, but even I cannot bring back those who have been lost forever.”

Chiaki nodded, lower lip trembling, though she tried to still it.

“It has been months since you last saw Hinata Hajime. The chances of finding him alive, based on past experience, are slim to none.”

Chiaki just kept nodding, her eyes downcast. When it seemed as if Kirigiri was finished, she spoke up again.

“I… I know that. I just… I want to  _ understand _ . And… maybe to prevent it from happening to somebody else.”

She knew the school was involved. It was subtle, but all signs in her previous investigation pointed towards Hope’s Peak itself doing something to cover up Hinata’s disappearance. She’d said as much to Kirigiri, explaining everything she’d uncovered so the detective could keep it in her notes. The way the Reserve Course acted like Hinata hadn’t even existed was uncanny-- along with the fact that his parents refused to comment.

They were all in on it. Chiaki burned with a desire to know why her friend’s life had potentially been forfeit.

Kirigiri fixed her gaze on Chiaki’s face. For a moment, she didn't speak. Chiaki felt as if she were being appraised.

“...That is an admirable quality,” Kirigiri stated. Chiaki’s face flushed at the compliment. “Don’t lose sight of that desire to do what’s right.” She began walking again, and Chiaki followed after her just as she did before. 

“...no matter what we may uncover,” came a grave afterthought from Kirigiri’s lips.

Chiaki suppressed a shiver. It was hard to keep up with Kirigiri’s pace, given their height difference and the brisk way the other girl walked even in her high heeled shoes. She remembered struggling the same way with Hinata.

He’d been more accommodating, at least. When he realized she was falling behind, he’d slow down to let her catch up. Kirigiri, it seemed, spared little thought to Chiaki’s efforts. She was a distant person, and for some reason, that made Chiaki want to chase after her even more

With Hinata, more often than not, it felt like  _ he _ was the one following  _ her _ . Chiaki set the pace and the mood, determining what they’d do that day, and it was often something to do with video games.

She felt rather guilty now. She thought, perhaps, she should have paid more attention to him. Certainly, on that last day she saw him, she knew something was off. She should have pressed more, asked him what was wrong. That slight bit of concern could have saved his life, she figured.

_ You weren’t a good enough friend, _ said an insidious voice at the back of her head.  _ You were selfish and cowardly. All you wanted to do was play video games… That’s why you didn’t have friends before, and that’s why you don’t deserve friends now. _

_ Shut up. _

“Do you really think the school is hiding something?” Chiaki asked, to try and get her mind off her own failings. “Would they  _ do _ something like that?”

“Have you ever considered what the Reserve Course is for, Nanami-san?”

A question for a question.

Confused, Chiaki responded, “Well… it’s so people without talent can attend the school, right?”

Kirigiri shook her head. “The fees. Think about the fees.”

It took her a few seconds, but Chiaki suddenly understood all too well what Kirigiri was implying. “The money. What do they do with it?”

“That’s a secret they keep locked up tightly. It’s obviously something they don’t want in the public eye.”

Chiaki bit her lip. What could the school be hiding, beyond Hinata’s disappearance and the truth of those two murders? The world around her was suddenly filled with shadows, all of them hiding something unsavory. It was like she’d stepped into an alternate reality. This place was unfamiliar to her.

As Chiaki considered what Kirigiri suggested, they arrived at the Reserve Course grounds. Every time she saw that fountain now, her heart ached, but she pushed past it so she could follow Kirigiri into the school.

The students there eyed them warily. Kirigiri kept her cool, not betraying any sort of emotion as she continued to walk with purpose. Chiaki followed her all the way to the teacher’s lounge, where Kirigiri then stopped and faced her once again.

“After you first contacted me, I did some investigating on my own,” she said. “There have been others. Two other boys about your friend’s age, missing from the surrounding area. They didn’t attend school here, but they disappeared before the Reserve Course was established.”

Chiaki blinked.

“...how long ago?”

“The first went missing four years ago. The next, two years ago.”

“You think they might be connected?”

“It seems likely.” Kirigiri knocked politely on the door. “They all shared attributes with your friend. Even their physical features were rather similar. They were unremarkable in every way, but their friends and family all said they admired Hope’s Peak greatly.”

_ Unremarkable. _

Chiaki grit her teeth. “ _ Don’t _ talk about them like that!” she shot back, feeling her blood start to boil. Kirigiri’s eyes widened slightly. “Maybe they didn’t seem like much at first, but if you would just get to  _ know _ them--!”

The door opened, interrupting her. Chiaki visibly deflated, stepping back as a rather exhausted teacher peeked out at the two of them. “Yes?” he asked.

“I’d like to speak with you about one of your students,” Kirigiri said. As the teacher sighed and opened the door further, Kirigiri glanced back at Chiaki, her face not betraying any of the surprise she’d shown earlier. “Wait out here.”

She disappeared into the room, and Chiaki sagged, leaning back against the wall.  _ I probably offended her.  _ The possibility cut deeper than she thought it would.

_ If extraordinary people like you… If you just saw them for  _ them _ , instead of their lack of talent… If you saw them for their kindness, or their humor, or the way they never gave up… Maybe they could feel as if they have their own worth. Maybe Hinata-kun could have… liked himself. _

Tears pricked Chiaki’s eyes. Before she could control herself, she was crying. She hastily wiped her face, but it didn’t do any good.

Even though Kirigiri had told her to wait, she turned tail and fled, heading for where she’d seen a bathroom on the way there.  _ This is just like back then,  _ Chiaki thought to herself.  _ I haven’t gotten any stronger or braver.  _ A cavity opened up in her chest. She felt as if she were falling into it, spiraling down to a place where she was just a little girl again. 

Wandering alone in the wing of a pure white palace… more lost and confused than ever before, because she didn’t recognize this world anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chiaki whenever somebody even vaguely insults hinata: (ง •̀_•́)ง


	6. Dramaturgy

No matter how it might have felt afterwards, the school’s demise was slow and steady. It started with rumors; the entire Student Council went missing, the Steering Committee scrambling to cover up the scandal.

When days stretched into weeks, more rumors began to surface. Strange, unpleasant rumors about the nature of the school and its funding, as well as the fate of the Student Council. According to those rumors, the entire Student Council had died.

It didn’t help that an entire wing of the school had been blocked off, hidden from the prying eyes of its students.

More whispers, this time of a student named “Kamukura Izuru”, who supposedly killed the entire Student Council. At first, it was unclear why he bore the name of the founder of Hope’s Peak. With time, it began to come out that he was an  _ experiment _ by the school, using the Reserve Course’s funding. He was inhuman, a monster, capable of killing with his bare hands without batting an eye.

Nobody knew what he looked like, the footage shown supposedly obscuring most of his features.

“Kirigiri-san,” Chiaki pleaded as she followed behind the echoing footsteps of the Ultimate Detective once more. “You’re not really giving up, are you? With everything that’s going on?”

The dread in her voice was immediately apparent. The Reserve Course students grew restless. Their demonstrations had turned violent, and nobody could confirm the source of the Kamukura Izuru rumors. All of it was like something straight out of a game.

It should have excited her, but instead it made her skin crawl. Even if it wasn’t true, the Reserve Course students wouldn’t be sated so easily. 

They were out for blood. Literally, in some cases, as several of the Main Course students had been put in the hospital already, and several others were missing. Matsuda Yasuke was one of the latter.

Kirigiri stopped, turning to Chiaki swiftly on one heel. Her lilac hair floated behind her for a moment, suspended, and Chiaki found it hard not to stare.

Her feelings for the other girl had taken… something of a strange turn, the last couple of weeks.

“The  _ headmaster _ ,” Kirigiri said, every ounce of the phrase dripping with ire, “has commanded me to stop investigating  _ anything _ pertaining to the school.”

It wasn’t like Kirigiri to be so blatantly emotional, but even Chiaki could see how much this frustrated her. People were getting hurt, possibly dying, and Kirigiri was being held back from doing what she could to help.

Though she was still distant, Chiaki knew Kirigiri cared about others in her own way. Even moreso, she cared about doing her job. It was one of the many qualities she admired in her.

_ Stop thinking about it,  _ Chiaki scolded herself, fighting down a blush.

“But… Hinata-kun,” she tried to argue, aware dimly of how selfish she was being.

Kirigiri’s gaze turned cold. “You should consider yourself lucky if you never see Hinata Hajime again,” she said.

Chiaki drew back, startled, eyes wide. Before she could ask what Kirigiri might mean by that, Kirigiri was gone. She’d turned and begun to walk away again, the  _ clack _ of her heels against the floor continuing until the noise had completely faded. The entire time, Chiaki just stood there and watched.

Despite what everyone might think, she was smart enough to put two and two together.

She didn’t even want to consider it, though. She pushed it to the back of her mind.  _ Hinata-kun would never kill anyone,  _ she told herself.  _ Never.  _ She had to admit, though, that it might be for the best if he wasn’t around the school at the moment.

_ If he’s even still alive,  _ said another, much more cynical voice deep inside her.

_ Shut up. _

There was nothing else she could do. Briefly, Chiaki played around with the idea of sending Kirigiri a text later, to ask her if she wanted to get a snack and just talk… but the idea of reaching out to her in such a casual manner was too daunting. She severed that train of thought entirely.

She resolved to return to the classroom instead. She passed by several other students on the way, even exchanged a few words with her friend Naegi Makoto, who seemed strangely hopeful despite their circumstances.

Except for one particularly _lucky_ student, the classroom was empty when she slid the door open and greeted the silence rather glumly.

“Welcome back, Nanami-san,” Komaeda called, turning with a sickeningly sweet smile on his pale, washed-out face. He stuck out like a sore thumb against the backdrop of the window, dusk having already settled over the campus.

Chiaki closed the door again behind her. “Are the others with Enoshima-san again…?” she asked him, barely suppressing a sigh. It was getting harder and harder to keep her bitter jealousy at bay.

“Yes,” Komaeda said. “I believe they said they were working on a project.”

She didn’t like the way his green eyes scrutinized her, but she let it pass without comment. 

It was Komaeda, after all. He always had an air about him, as if he was trying to see underneath her skin to her heart beating within.

“You weren’t invited?” Chiaki asked him.

“I would only have dragged them down,” Komaeda admitted. There was a hint of a grumble in his normally smooth and cheerful voice; he didn’t like being left out this time, even if he tried to cover it up. “Besides… the vantage point from up here is so much clearer, don’t you think?”

_ From up here? Where are they working, then? _

Chiaki took her seat, sitting down with a noticeable “oomph”, practically falling into the chair. 

Her arms dropped loosely on the desk in front of her. Her chin hit the surface. For a moment, her face was buried in her sleeves, trying to recollect herself after that disappointing encounter with Kirigiri.

When she looked up again, she gave Komaeda a hard stare. “You’re watching the Reserve Course students again?”

The Parade had been going for several days. Every single day, Komaeda had spent at least an hour in this exact spot, observing them from a distance.  _ “Less a Parade, more a budding revolution,” _   he had observed at one point.

He didn’t answer the question. He didn’t need to.

The students down below had lit several fires. They rallied their troops beside them, trying to keep them contained, until somebody broke free and lit something in their hand ablaze. That same student turned, and others followed suit, each lighting up a torch. The light danced in their hands, illuminating their faces.

These makeshift torches were then pitched over the side of the Main Course grounds. Security guards hurriedly snuffed them out, but the point was made.

“They have the significance of ants,” Komaeda said. “And yet.... They band together to create something so…”

From the way he normally talked about the Reserve Course, Chiaki would have expected him to be against the Parade. The next thing that came out of his mouth startled her for that exact reason.

“...Marvelous!” he poured out, expelling the word as if he’d been holding it in for too long, needing a breath to advance. “They will make wonderful stepping stones for your hope to shine through, Nanami-san!”

Chiaki whipped her head around to face him.

“ _ My _ hope?”

It wasn’t the first time Komaeda said something so strange, and she doubted it would be the last. But his phrasing in particular struck her. His words were clearly directed at her, even the use of her name meant to draw her attention.

Despite this, he continued on as if oblivious. “Of course! You shall be the one to lead us, after all! We can usher in a new era!”

She sat up straighter before slumping over again. “...you don’t want me,” Chiaki muttered. “If you want a leader, go to Enoshima-san.”

She couldn’t help it. Every day the younger girl was out with at least one of her classmates, if not more. They adored her far more than they ever respected Chiaki.

Chiaki couldn’t blame them. Enoshima was intelligent, beautiful, funny, outgoing, independent-- she could go on forever and find no end to the positive adjectives to describe her.

Even Sonia had left her, now.

All she had left was Komaeda and Yukizome, who was so busy trying to keep everything under control that she hadn’t even held class in three days.

“ _ You _ will be the one,” Komaeda stated sharply, coming closer to look her in the eyes. If Chiaki had been standing, she would have taken a step back. As it was, she pressed up against the back of her chair, gaze roving for an escape route.

It wasn’t like the boy to be so forward. His manners could be flawed, but his self loathing made him keep his distance.

“ _ You _ will be the light in the darkness,” Komaeda breathed, causing Chiaki to scoot further back in her chair. “ _ You _ will help us defeat this despair that blankets this campus so thickly I can  _ taste _ it! You are the only one who can save us, Nanami-san! Your hope is the only one  _ strong _ enough!”

Madness swirled in his eyes.

Chiaki stood, slamming her hands down on the desk in front of her.

“I’m  _ not _ strong!” she cried out, composure cracking. “I’m  _ not! _ I’m just  _ desperate! _ ”

Her legs trembled. From somewhere farther away, Chiaki watched herself react and thought,  _ now everyone will know I’m a fraud.  _

Her mouth kept moving regardless.

“Everyone keeps saying I’m all these things that I’m not!” The words tumbled from her lips before she could stop them, and just kept coming, a dam bursting when she’d been holding it back for so long. “They keep telling me I’m smart, or I’m kind, or I’m a good friend, or I’m strong when I’m not! I have no idea what I’m doing! I-I’m lost! I’m  _ scared! _ ”

Komaeda was silent.

“...I’m scared, Komaeda-kun,” came a final near-whimper before she bit her tongue and stared sullenly at the ground.

He didn’t speak again for a few moments.

When he did, it wasn’t what she wanted to hear.

“That is when your hope is the  _ strongest _ , Nanami-san,” Komaeda said softly.

She did exactly as Kirigiri had done to her earlier: She turned and left the room, turning down the hallway to find somewhere she could truly be alone. Her own steps were silent, leaving Komaeda in her wake to contemplate the Parade by himself.

Later, she’d realize she wasn’t the only one crying out for help in that conversation, but by then it was too late to save anybody.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i live! sadly, the student council did not.


	7. Non Player Character

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i couldn't find the exact dialogue for this without digging through the episode itself, so i rewrote it. some things are the same, some things are different. in particular, i reworked it to have a reason for izuru to make an appearance before that final door.

Every step she took was agony.

The pain went lancing through her body, rising from her legs to her hips and climbing up all the way to her head, where she bit her lip until she drew blood. She could feel the warmth of it trickling down her chin. Her right eye was shut, trying to prevent the wound above it from dripping down and obscuring her line of sight.

Everything was warm and cold all at once. Her hands trembled-- no, everything else was shaking too. The entire world was shaking. Everything was falling, falling, falling…

_ focus, Chiaki! _

She snapped herself out of it and staggered forward, a few more shuddering steps. There didn’t seem to be any more traps, or else she’d be dead at the pace she was going.

_ dead dead she’s trying to kill you she will kill you you’ll be dead you’re dying _

Her vision was clouded. Not with blood, but with tears. Everything in front of her was a blur, and she dragged one hand along the wall closest to her, just trying to figure out where she was.

There was a turn ahead…

_ enoshima lied she lied she’s trying to kill you she lied you’ll die you’re going to die _

...and she came to a dead end.

She’d have to turn and go the other way. But her legs ceased function, quitting on her altogether as she slumped forward. She could feel the blood pooling in her stockings, sticky and uncomfortable, squishing in her shoes, soaking her clothes, all of it pouring out of her so it was so horribly cold…

She just needed a moment to rest.

Nanami Chiaki, age eighteen. Class representative of Hope’s Peak class 77-b. The Ultimate Gamer, the first of her kind. Daughter of Nanami Yamato and Nanami Kazue, conceived out of wedlock, never wanted in the first place, never asked to be alive, never wanted much of  _ anything _ for herself...

_ i don’t want to die! _

_       i don’t want to die! i don’t want to die! i don’t want to die! _

_ I DON’T WANT TO DIE! _

It was like a current of electricity running through her brain. She couldn’t stop the pleading, the tears, the pain. It all poured out of her.

But at least, since she’d stopped running and gotten off her feet, some of the edge had been taken off her agony. It was almost like she could drift away from her body now, find some place where she wasn’t so broken, where she could be the hero she wanted to be and not the pathetic, unwanted girl bleeding out on the floor.

Her ears were ringing, but she could make out the sound of footsteps.

Somebody was coming. Somebody who saw no reason not to announce himself.

And then he stood over her, those calm crimson eyes gazing down without a shred of sympathy in the world. Tilting her face upwards, she met his gaze with her own.

Chiaki slammed back into her body.

_       hinata-kun… _

“Hinata-kun…?”

His voice was firm.

“No.”

_ no…? _

_       no? it’s not hinata-kun? how could it not be hinata-kun? _

_ where were you? why aren’t you helping me? hinata-kun, come back. hinata-kun, please. _

Her mouth was dry. She tried to croak out the words she wanted to say, but the pain overruled her. Her head  _ swam _ with the pain. She couldn’t remember a time when the pain hadn’t been part of her. The pain was all she knew, all she could think about.

The dark-haired boy let out a sigh and crouched by her. He reached out to touch her, and Chiaki didn’t think to shy away. He began tearing strips of cloth from her blazer, wrapping them around the cut in her arm and the hole in her leg.

It was cold and clinical, like he didn’t  _ really _ care what happened to her, just that he was doing what was practical.

He spoke again, his speech polite and refined. It was amazing how his voice could sound so like Hinata’s, and yet be completely different.

“Is Hinata the one who once owned this body?”

Chiaki didn’t know how to respond to that.

_ once owned…? _

_       once owned? hinata-kun is gone? for real, for sure? _

_ who are you? _

Once he was done, the boy straightened up. Her blood stained his fingers, and he examined them before he wiped them off on a spare strip of cloth he’d torn from her clothes.

“Hinata is gone,” he told her. His words mimicked her thoughts, only confirming what she’d already known to be true. A few more tears slipped down her cheek, trickling down her nose and mingling with the blood on her face. “All traces of his personality have been erased.”

_ then _

_       who ARE you? _

_             you must be… _

_ kamukura izuru kamukura izuru kamukura izuru kamukura izuru-- _

Chiaki pushed herself up.

Her thoughts all collided with each other, each one trying to bubble out first. So many things screaming inside her head, none of them able to find purchase. She didn’t understand; she  _ couldn’t _ understand. They had done this? To Hinata? This was what he disappeared for? Did he know? Had he had a choice?

“I’m sorry,” she choked out.

She didn’t see Kamukura’s eyes widen briefly.

“I’m sorry-- I couldn’t help you--”

All she could see was Hinata, smiling sheepishly, embarrassed but pleased that she’d even give him the time of day. Her classmates, under Enoshima’s thrall, Chiaki powerless to stop it.  _ Komaeda _ . The last conversation she had with Komaeda. Sonia, trying on a yukata for the first time. Souda, snapping at her to ease up, to let him win once in a while.

“I couldn’t-- save anyone--”

The tears flowed freely. The sobs hurt, wracking her body, but she couldn’t stop them.

She thought she could be the hero. All along, she was just a pawn.

_ Non player character. _

She never had a chance.

“...even in your situation, you would still try to protect someone?”

To protect them? Yes, that’s what she wanted. That’s  _ all _ that she wanted. If only she could have protected them, if only she could have protected  _ him _ , maybe she could have died with a smile on her face.

Nanami Chiaki, age eighteen. Not a hero. Bleeding out on a floor beneath a school being torn apart from the inside. Dying.

It was as if she hadn’t heard him.

“I don’t want to die!”

_       please. i don’t want to die. _

“I want-- to see everyone--”

_       not like this. not like this not like this _

“I-- I want to play games with you again--”

_       hinata-kun, is this what you wanted? _

“I love you all so much--”

_       i never said it couldn’t say it _

_ is this really the way it ends? _

_       i really am an NPC. _

_ Game Over. _

Her hands clenched into fists. Rising from the pool of blood beneath her, Chiaki pushed herself up. Every nerve in her body screamed at her to stop, to just give in. It was a trap. She couldn’t win. She couldn’t even change one single life.

Up on her hands and knees, Chiaki groaned.

Kamukura, still maintaining his distance: “You’re not dead yet.”

A simple statement of fact. He offered her his hand, expression completely unreadable.

“There is an exit. You will find a door that says ‘goal.’”

A second passed, the moment frozen for what felt like an eternity.

Chiaki ignored him.

She pushed herself up until she was kneeling, her shirt and blazer torn and soaked in blood. Her hair clip, hanging on by a mere thread from how many times she’d anxiously run her fingers through her hair, slipped. It fell into the pool beneath her.

Still, she rose. Clumsily, she got back to her feet until she stood before him. She wobbled, but she did not fall. Her breath came out in pants and moans, the cloth wrapped around the injuries in her leg and foot stained with a deep red that seeped through it.

Chiaki grit her teeth.

She took her first step forward, toward Kamukura.

Another step.

On the third, she nearly fell. But she was close enough to him now that as she plunged forward, she caught herself on his arm and pulled herself back up. One bloodstained hand gripped his white shirt, exposed under his jacket, her forehead against his shoulder.

And for whatever reason, Kamukura didn’t move. He remained still as a statue.

Chiaki didn’t know why she said what she said next, but it fell from her lips all the same. Perhaps because she could touch him, because she could feel his warmth.

_ You’re not dead yet,  _ he’d said.

“...neither are you,” she whispered, shuddering as she forced herself upright again.

Another few clumsy, stumbling steps forward.

And she was off, shuffling forward like a zombie in one of her games, but still she continued to move. Her body operated on its own, driving her forward. Her mind had cleared. She could think of nothing except escape, the “goal” Kamukura had described to her.

But: “Somebody is coming,” Kamukura stated, quietly, almost as if in disbelief, “from the entrance.”

If she had the presence of mind, she’d wonder why he seemed torn, directing her in two opposite directions. If he wished for her to head for the goal, why mention that somebody else was on their way? Why say anything at all? 

If he hadn’t told her, she never would have known. She’d have kept going, oblivious, steered towards the door that would have been her doom. Just as Enoshima wanted. He would have fulfilled his purpose in the labyrinth in the first place.

Chiaki took a left-- back to where she’d come from. She disappeared.

Her chances of survival were still miniscule. But the calculations were running at a rapid pace in his head, and the numbers were increasing each time. 10 percent, no, 12 percent-- even 13 percent, perhaps?

_ Who are you? _

Something dripped down his face. Distracted, Izuru brought a hand up. His eyes had been feeling hot for a while now, but he had barely taken note of it.

_ Tears? _

There was a tearing, twisting pain in his chest that wouldn’t stop. His eyes flooded, a lump forming in his throat. It wasn’t like anything he’d experienced before. He’d had his fill of physical pain in the tests the Steering Committee ran him through, but this rending of his heart was completely unfamiliar.

It must be grief.

Completely illogical. Senseless, to be driven to tears at the sight of another person’s suffering. Whether Nanami Chiaki lived or died, it shouldn’t affect him.

He needed to recalculate more than just the odds that she would live, it seemed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> keep your eyes out for the next chapter of beautiful ruin and the epilogues! and remember to comment or share, feedback is always appreciated! reblogs on tumblr are especially helpful!


	8. EPILOGUE

The low buzz of the TV was the only noise in the room. The screen was filled with stills from Hope’s Peak, aerial views as the Reserve Course students burned it to the ground. Apparently, not long after Chiaki had awoken in this hospital bed, the Parade had turned into a complete massacre.

They set the school ablaze, targeting anyone who stood in their way.

The only hope left, according to the announcer on the news, was Kirigiri Jin and the 78th class, who’d barricaded themselves inside the old school building. That included two of Chiaki’s friends-- Naegi Makoto, the 78th class’s Ultimate Luck, and Fujisaki Chihiro, the Ultimate Programmer.

Communications were down. They had no way of knowing if they were actually safe.

Through it all, Chiaki only half paid attention, the fog in her brain too difficult to fight through. She didn’t know if it was the painkillers they’d given her, or if she just wasn’t ready to face up to reality.

She remembered little about the events of the previous day. Somebody had pushed her, and she’d fallen… she could recall intense fear and panic and pain, and blood red eyes looking down at her. Then she remembered an old man’s voice, something about… the fashion model, Enoshima Junko?

Tengan Kazuo was the old man. She knew that much, at least. When she came to, he was waiting for her with a smile on his face. The doctors hadn’t known if she’d pull through, apparently. She’d lost so much blood, by all rights she ought to be dead.

She learned that Tengan was a former headmaster of Hope’s Peak, and that Mitarai had found him as he fled from the school, half-delirious with panic. Tengan apparently knew the school like the back of his hand, so he’d followed Mitarai’s directions, managing to find the side entrance that had been used to construct the deadly labyrinth that had nearly killed Chiaki.

( _ Who built it? _ Chiaki wondered.  _ Was this the secret project you guys were working on? _ )

All the traps had already been sprung. He just had to make his way through it, following the trails of blood she’d left behind.

When she asked him if he found anybody else there, he shook his head no.

_ Was Kamukura Izuru a dream, then? _

The good news: Chiaki was alive. She could feel her heart beating faintly in her chest, if she bothered to focus on it. Her wounds would heal, though it had taken her long enough to get proper treatment that she’d likely experience aches in the torn up muscle of her foot and leg for the rest of her life.

The hospital was  _ very _ busy. The unrest had spread from the school, infecting the outer areas. Those who revered the school as a god clashed with those who feared its corruption.

The bad news: The perpetrator of it all, Enoshima Junko, was locked up in the old school building with her sister, Ikusaba Mukuro. 

Even if Chiaki couldn’t remember, Mitarai and Tengan did. Unfortunately, by the time they realized what was happening, the school had already become an impenetrable fortress.

Tengan kept an eye on Chiaki, which she was grateful for. She wasn’t alone, that way.

For the most part, they sat in silence, watching the news with doleful eyes. There was nothing left for either of them to do, it seemed. To Chiaki, it felt like the world had crumbled around her, leaving nothing but dust and debris.

“Young lady,” Tengan said thoughtfully. Chiaki was brought out of the fog momentarily, and she turned to look at him. “I am looking to create an organization to combat this catastrophe.”

He stroked his beard thoughtfully, waiting for a reply from her. When she gave none, merely looking away again, he continued.

“With your permission, I’d like you to head up one of the branches. Your talent could prove useful.”

Her fingers curled up. It didn’t take her long to respond at all.

“No.”

She didn’t deserve it. She’d led her classmates down a path that had doomed them all. She was no leader-- she was just a fool, a little girl who’d pretended to be a hero.

Tengan sighed. “I see.”

Chiaki continued to stare at the TV. There were reports coming in from the outside of the school, a few brave people recording the demolition as close as they could get. The Reserve Course students had stormed the building her class used to meet in for homeroom.

Rage and frustration welled up inside her. Her hands balled into fists, and she clutched the covers of her bed tightly.

“...but I’ll help you,” Chiaki said, her voice carefully controlled to keep it from quaking. “I won’t lead, but… as soon as I can… I’ll help you. Whatever you need.”

Tengan nodded. On the screen, the shaky camera turned to the third floor of the building. The fires burned brightly, and against it, silhouettes began to plummet from the windows.

The Reserve Course students were falling.

The two of them watched in silence. It should have shocked them, but neither reacted. Chiaki felt as if she were somewhere very far away, watching herself watch the spectacular final act of the Reserve Course’s Parade.

The bodies of the former Reserve Course students broke against the pavement. After a few minutes, there was no more screaming. The school burned in solidarity with their suffering.

Chiaki jumped when Tengan spoke again.

“We’re calling it Future Foundation,” he told her, as if the sight on the screen hadn’t given him pause at all. “Do you understand what we’re combating here, Nanami-san? It’s a feeling on a scale our country has never seen.”

The camerawork grew even shakier. There was a shout from nearby, and something hurtled itself at the cameraman. There were more screams then, this time much closer-- and then again, silence.

The news program returned to the anchor tearfully announcing that the live broadcast was over.

Chiaki heard herself say one word, and one word only. She wasn’t sure where it came from, but she felt it deep inside her all the same.

“Despair.”

_ That’s right. _

This _ is despair. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have no excuse for how long it took me to get to this. i just kept forgetting, and when i remembered, i didn't feel like writing it. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ i've been doing stuff on my roleplay blog mainly

**Author's Note:**

> shoutout to my lovely friend razz for dragging me kicking and screaming into fic hell from roleplay hell, and also sydney for helping me figure out how this damn thing works
> 
> make sure to check for the companion piece, re: beautiful ruin which will be published side by side with re: beautiful days!
> 
> also, bc i have one for beautiful ruin, heres a human nanami playlist: https://8tracks.com/lyrasen/all-i-have-are-games


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